How can I put to words the thoughts I've been having over the past months. No idea.

So I will try write more freely, without review or attempt at reconstruction. I'm witing this while at work. Something that is rather unusual and would have felt problematic maybe just a couple months ago. I've changed in the way I view time and how we spend it. I'm still working, don't worry. Just a little less diligently. Or maybe you should worry, that I still am.

I feel and believe that listening has become for me an imperative. In that I imply a deep and pervasive listening.

I've started observing the birds in my vicinity. We have mourning dove nest on our front porch and what I believe to be either purple or some other finch I can't remember on the back. I can recognize black-capped chickadee.

I want to remember the things we've lost. I want to know the plants I see, I want to know songs and stories to teach my child. I want to speak honestly without trying to dress up my words.

It's not so hard in application. It's a matter of letting go. I often feel the busyness of my mind and an impulse to do and make a mark in the day. It's a slow progression, but the more I am aware and listening to myself and everything around me, the easier it is to stop and enjoy a breath.

That is all I have a mind to say for now.