She's Alive... Beautiful... Finite... Hurting... Worth Dying for.

Spoil - Documentary on the Great Bear Rainforests under threat by DIRTY ...

We've lost much
It is time to stop and feel that loss
I believe when we have done this we can understand what it will mean to go forward
Beauty remains
Life is all around us
The Earth still speaks
Will I listen?

Western black rhino declared extinct

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-15663982

Derrick Jensen - Endgame

Should I ever realize these ideals in my own way of living I would consider myself very fortunate. Though it might not be unreasonable to assume that this should be our state at birth.


We are a part of the natural world.
-We should live in the midst of that world and take our place in it. It is the same for humans as it is for any animal living in a zoo...an environment we surround ourselves in that is without the patterns of nature cannot provide for our basic needs. Since we are natural beings we depend on natural patterns and resources for our well-being. Any deviation where we are caused to depend on patterns that do not hold true to nature creates and imbalance.
-We should eat only what is within our personal reach within that world. We should not use industrial knowledge to exploit the land for our own tastes and desires for an unnatural sense of stability.
-We should live within our senses. Those senses should be strong and balanced. We should listen to our bodies and act according to our feelings and intuition. No artificial light should be used to prolong our wakeful state.
-We should use the energy gathered through food in our bodies to do work that is necessary. We should never exploit non-renewable or renewable energy sources. And we should always make an offering to ensure respect for any life source we employ. The basis of our functioning should be personal human power.
-We should work as though it were a function of life within our place in the world. Work should be focused on securing the needs of the day or season. Hoarding of resources is a symptom of an imbalanced way of living.
-We will move and position our bodies in space as we are encouraged by our environment. Therefore we should choose to be a part of the natural world and live by its way, to keep our body, mind and spirit vital and healthy.

Cries are not enough
it hurts and you will cry
but it is not enough
the earth bleeds
and you cry
because you feel the pain
the wound occurs within your own heart
and you will cry
but it is not enough
you cry and you keep pushing the blade edge deeper
your heart is crying and you cry
but you know not the source of the pain
you are a stranger to your heart
you have been feigning friendship with your heart
you aren't aware that you left your heart long ago
It will not be enough

Know your heart.
The earth cries out through the heart
But it does not only cry

I hope for mind
mind that is here
mind that is laid open to its task
mind that is at peace
with sorrow, pain, anger and joy
mind that takes each as a passing storm to be loved

In our hearts we know the perfumed flowers are our sisters
The deer, the horse, the great eagle, these are our brothers
That the earth does not belong to man
Man belongs to the earth
And this also we know
All things are connected like the blood which unites one family
That man did not weave the web of life
He is but a strand in it
Whatever he does to the web he does to himself
So friend, do it this way and if you so do
The power of the universe will come to your assistance
But be sure your heart and mind are one
For all of creation is related and the hurt of one is the hurt of all
And the honor of one is the honor of all
And whatever we do touches each and everything in the universe
Each of us was put here in this time and this place
To personally decide the future of the world
Did you thing you were put here for something less
So if you do it this way that is if you truly join your heart and mind as one
Whatever you ask for, that's the way it's going to be.

Inspired and Adapted from Various Native American Elders

If we know its not working
why do we continue?

A shift in consciousness

Give me an hour
I will watch the forest
with no words I might hear a clear thought
the birds may offer their feelings
I may see something new and feel appreciation

What I look forward to every evening and weekend these days are the blocks of time when I can be outside. Whether I'm sitting, walking, running, gardening or observing I find something new every time.

I often think how I'd like to start my own business and then I think about how I definitely don't want a business. The underlying desire is to able to dictate my own schedule or allow my schedule to be dictated by more local forces. I have things I want to share which I feel could be marketed and the only reason the thought comes to mind is because that is how we survive in this culture (by marketing something we feign to own). I cannot in a clear conscience think about marketing the ideas I want to share because they are not mine. They belong to each of us and I believe we only need to relearn them.

I want a local currency.

And sometimes I become impatient with my own ability to articulate thoughts so I leave what has been written and wait for a better time to write.

started praying again
learned how to clean a duck
incubating a duck egg
discovered, gathered and ate morel mushrooms

it's an interesting world
I feel like I'm living more often

You can rarely say what you truly want
I want to say that I'm thoughtful
Heavily
more than I've been in my own memory
I think things are changing and will continue to do so
In a way that is not necessarily to our liking
Teaching ESL brings you a lot of information
A lot of feeling
From Mexico, Vietnam, Egypt, Libya, Congo, Iraq
Things I don't know
You can't know the lives that push you to wake up
You listen
I try
And when I wonder I can sit outside and feel the night breeze
maybe this is where I can return if my life becomes like a stranger

We still have birds
trees
bees
squirrels
and plants of all kinds
I think we can find something new
that we lost
and find hope that while things change
they continue to change

How can I put to words the thoughts I've been having over the past months. No idea.

So I will try write more freely, without review or attempt at reconstruction. I'm witing this while at work. Something that is rather unusual and would have felt problematic maybe just a couple months ago. I've changed in the way I view time and how we spend it. I'm still working, don't worry. Just a little less diligently. Or maybe you should worry, that I still am.

I feel and believe that listening has become for me an imperative. In that I imply a deep and pervasive listening.

I've started observing the birds in my vicinity. We have mourning dove nest on our front porch and what I believe to be either purple or some other finch I can't remember on the back. I can recognize black-capped chickadee.

I want to remember the things we've lost. I want to know the plants I see, I want to know songs and stories to teach my child. I want to speak honestly without trying to dress up my words.

It's not so hard in application. It's a matter of letting go. I often feel the busyness of my mind and an impulse to do and make a mark in the day. It's a slow progression, but the more I am aware and listening to myself and everything around me, the easier it is to stop and enjoy a breath.

That is all I have a mind to say for now.

So I've been running barefoot for nearly a year in Harrisburg, Pa. I've learned a lot and am interested in networking with others in the area if there is an interest. I would love to share my experiences with others who have also been barefooting or are interested in getting started. I'm not always out running, but you can catch me some evenings or afternoons along the river in Harrisburg. If you've come across this post and are interested leave me a comment and an email address and maybe we can meet up sometime.